He Is We - Happily Ever After

Update

I don't know why I'm posting now, but I feel like it's been a while.

Life at CBU has been awesome lately. Without a car for the first time in a really long time, I have gotten to feel more separated from San Diego than ever before. Not like this is always a good thing, but I finally feel like I'm, in college. I'm gone from home, and I'm not a rash decision away on a Friday morning from going home on the weekend. 

I will be an RA next year in Parkside South. And I can't wait. To be leading 30 some students, while living alongside them is going to be an incredible experience. I want to make an impact, and have community. But not for the sake of impact and community, but for the sake of lives changed by the Gospel of Jesus. That Gospel that so many know, but don't love; love, but don't act on. I want it to be the why of my time as an RA. That for the sake of Jesus' name, I will be an RA. Not for a cool room, free living, a check, or a lot of friends. It'll be a challenge, and only by His grace I will succeed. But because it is by His grace if I succeed, I KNOW I will. Because He is good, and because He has good works prepared for me beforehand. I'm not really nervous, but more just humbly confident and extremely excited to see Him move. Southside, strongside!

SDG

Worship and Outsiders

"I loved it when I was a non-Christian and someone brought me to church. Someone else paid for the rent at that church. Someone else paid the pastor’s salary. Someone else paid for everything, and I heard about God. And it was beautiful. I would have never paid for that, but someone else did. And I got to hear about God. And I got to hear the Bible. And I got to learn about Jesus. And then I came to an understanding of that where all of a sudden it was like “Yeah, I believe that I am a child of God now. What Jesus has done is also done for me.” And I remember sitting in church one day and the plate was going by. And I was a 19-year-old male, which is kind of curious to me. And I remember the plate went by and held it, and I hand it over, and I thought “Well, I’m a man now. This is my responsibility. For thousands of years someone has been doing this so that it could get to me. And now it’s my job to put something in here to make sure that it goes to someone else. That’s good. I can’t wait to get to heaven and realize that because people gave, other people came to know, and I was part of that process. That’s a beautiful thing.”

And so worship is not about you. It’s about God. It’s amazing, isn’t it? People come to the temple on the holiest day of the year, to the presence of almighty God and they think it’s about them. Is that unbelievable? I mean, the one day and the one place that you would assume that people would recognize it’s about God, but they forgot. They forgot it was about God, and they forgot it was about those people that didn’t yet know God. If you were here tonight, don’t give us any money if you are not a Christian. You know why? It is our job, our responsibility as worshippers, not just consumers, to pick up the tab for you. God loves you. Your salvation has nothing to do for your money. You don’t earn or pay for God’s love. It’s given to you. God already loves us, and all of our money belongs to him. We’ll pay the bills, and you just come along and enjoy the ride."

Mark Driscoll, The Gospel of John, John 2:12-25. 

Oh wow. That struck me. Often I feel like I have to be served, all the time. The worship has to be good, musically and theologically. The pastor must go expositionally through Scripture, with emphasis on Jesus, the cross, and the resurrection in the style and manner which I find worthy. Their ministry vision and mission must be centered on what I think is important. And I consume from churches, instead of giving. Not just money, or time, or effort, or care, or involvement, but everything. God loves me, so I love Him. God saved me, so I live for Him. God cares about me, so I love Him. God redeems me, so I can change and try for Him. God rescues me, so I can have faith and be courageous for Him. He did it all, like the song would say. I don't need to do anything, I get to do everything. I don't have to obey, I get to live life as I was intended, with the most pleasure and joy for myself, with all the glory going to Him. I ought not to demand from God's people, but join His people for His mission and His vision for the world, for His glory. 

SDG

The Struggle of Faith

"There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus... who according to His mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Christ Jesus from the dead, to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, who are kept by the power of God through faith in salvation.. in this greatly rejoice."

I understand I just combined Romans 7 with 1 Peter 1, but I just feel like it fits so well. Because there is an odd joy present in me at this present time. I rejoice because He saves, He loves, He sanctifies, He makes new. This is my favorite part of being a Calvinist, for all the crap that it gets. If it was up to me, right now, I'd be destroyed. I'd have no hope. But I'm "kept by the power of God". It isn't up to my good behavior, good attitude, good ideas, good apologies, to be forgiven accepted made new. It's up to Him.

So there's no condemnation! God has done an incredible work in us who call ourselves Christians, and through us, and for me to say that it is not enough is to tell Jesus that Him dying on the cross for my sins is not enough. He was condemned, He was the one that was crushed by the Father (and it pleased Him). Now I get an inheritance "through the resurrection." The inheritance that the Son Jesus Christ has, an ever perfect standing with God the Father. He looks at me like He looks at Jesus, "His Son, with whom He is well pleased." And this inheritance, because I am not condemned by God, is perfect, clean, strong, ever present, always becoming more clear. It will not go. Oh what a joy!!! What a gift, what an incredible amount of grace, undeserved merit in front of the Creator and Judge of the universe. In that, in that, I greatly rejoice.

Some bits of the devotions in "My Utmost for His Highest" for this weekend...

The work of salvation means that in your life things are dramatically changed. You no longer look at things in the same way. Your desires are new and the old things have lost their power to attract you. Has God changed the things that really matter to you? If  you are born again, the Spirit of God makes the change very evident in your life and thought.

If we are born of God, we will see His guiding hand and give Him credit. We can all see God in exceptional things, but requires the growth of spiritual discipline to see Him in every detail. Never believe that the random events in life are anything less than God's appointed order. Be ready to design His divine designs everywhere and anywhere.

Encouraged by one of my FOCUS students, I'll be writing a lot more frequently... till next time.

Make War with Sin

The quote from Piper, that if you're not fighting sin.. you're losing to it... makes oh so much more sense now. Not because it's an emotional time and I feel like my heart has gotten ripped into pieces, but because I sensed it. But my flesh pulled away. I would turn off sermons, hide my Bible under a pile of books, hide notes, verses. Because I wanted sin. I wanted it, I desired it. And even when I didn't, I wasn't repenting, or searching for ways to practically end this problem. I was silent about it. And now, I'm paying the price to it. It hurts like hell. But Jesus is breaking my fingers... to make me let go of something that in the end will kill me.

Jesus, save me from myself, my desires, my wants, my longings. Give me YOU and YOU ONLY.

Never Grow Up

You're little hands wrapped around my finger
And, it's so quiet in the world tonight
You're little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming 
So, I took you in
Turn on your favorite night light
To you, everything's funny
You got nothing to regret
I'd give all I had, honey
If you could stay like that 

Oh, darling don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up 
Just stay this little 
Oh, darling don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up 
It can stay this simple

I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart
And no one will desert you 
Just try to never grow up, and never grow up 

And no one's ever burned you 
Nothing's ever left you scarred
And even though you want to 
Just try to never grow up 

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad get's home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said 
And all you're little brothers favorite songs 
I just realized everything I had is someday gonna be gone 

So, here I am in my new apartment 
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder than I thought it would be 
So, I tucked myself in and turned my night light on 
Wish I'd never grown up
I wish I'd never grown up 

Oh, darling don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up 
Just stay this little 
Oh, darling don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up 
It can stay this simple


I know, I'm not a dad yet. But by God's grace I will be. And this song already describes how I will feel if I have a little girl... :) =/ It will be an incredible honor to hold that little cute mini me whom I will unconditionally love. And a huge responsibility. Realizing how the screwed up this world is, how stupid boys are, and how often parents neglect their children, I am deathly afraid for my children. But. God is good, and He will protect them and love them. Anyway, this is what Taylor Swift does to me. K bye now.


"Jesus, save my kids from themselves, from me, from the world. Spirit overflow in their lives. Lead them, regenerate them, sanctify them, and glorify them. But nonetheless, not my will, but your will be done."

The Religion of Our Heart

"Religion, is what we do in and with, our solitude."

When the day is over, when I have nothing left to study, take notes on, no one left to talk to, what do I think about? What do I desire more than anything? What makes me who I am? What do I want to define me?

These are all questions that everyone asks, whether one is a Christian, Atheist, Buddhist, or whatever other ism is out there. We love to pick causes (pro life, gay rights, recycling, helping the homeless), and we cling to them like there is no tomorrow. We flood our facebook statuses with updates, encouragements, pleading for others to convert to our cause. We all have great apologetics on the death penalty issue, abortion, or global warming. We all wish we could bench press 15 more pounds, lose another waist size, have a cuter boyfriend or girlfriend, have no boyfriend or girlfriend, be married (if were single), be single (if you're married), have a better job, retire, be smarter, be nicer, be more reliable, be more easy going. We constantly have something that defines us. Often, for fellow Christians, it's "I must serve at the church. I need to get involved. I need to have daily meetings with Christians that need my wonderful counsel, I need to read more, look at my theological beliefs, see how many verses I put up on Facebook?"

Some might look at the things I wrote as examples and say to themselves that there is nothing wrong with them. In of themselves, there isn't. But, are those things what we do in our solitude, and with our time? Are those the things that at the end of the day we desire most? If so, our lives will be so futile, and to be honest, pathetic. We will look wonderful on the outside, yet despise ourselves, use the people around us, hate God (whom we often passively or actively deny authority in our life), and be hopeless. Because our lives depend on such meaningless things! We really care if we have a nice iPod, if people like our hair, or if we have a nice car. WHO CARES! In 100 years, we will ALL be DEAD. And you're worried people talk about you behind your back? I care that I need to perform in all aspects, get smarter, have a good job, so my wife will be provided for, so I can have kids, and they can have a good life, and then we can take a vacation, and then they can go to a good college. Whoa!!! I'm 18, in my second year of college,  and what drives me is my future kid's college plans? I can die tonight in my sleep. Worried about my kid's college fund. When I don't even have a ring on my finger. Silly what our hearts love to worship, what our hearts will do to achieve power and comfort and control over our lives.

This is because we all want to be God. We all want to sit on our thrones and tell our little kingdom and creation what to do, how to do it, and why. Because we know all, and we know best. We are to be worshipped and glorified. We are to be sacrificed over. People should want to hang out with me, make time for me, listen to my problems, and make accommodations for me. I am the sovereign lord and king.

No. Jesus is whom we give our lives to. He is the One we worship and glorify, and sacrifice to. We devote ourselves to Him. Not to our religion, to our intellectual team, to our cause. Those things all pass away. And what a scene it will be when some stand in front of the risen Christ as He is judging the world, and say "but I told people to recycle to save the trees, and I was passionate about human rights, and I gave my life to creating solar energy". And Jesus will reply with "You didn't tell people about Me, you weren't passionate about Me, and you didn't give your life to Me... depart from me, I never knew You. "

Jesus, please save me from myself. Please allow me to only be focused on You. Not what I do, want to do, or will do, for You. But just You, Your person, Your character, who You are. Not because of what I get, but because of who You are.