The Struggle of Faith

"There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus... who according to His mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Christ Jesus from the dead, to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, who are kept by the power of God through faith in salvation.. in this greatly rejoice."

I understand I just combined Romans 7 with 1 Peter 1, but I just feel like it fits so well. Because there is an odd joy present in me at this present time. I rejoice because He saves, He loves, He sanctifies, He makes new. This is my favorite part of being a Calvinist, for all the crap that it gets. If it was up to me, right now, I'd be destroyed. I'd have no hope. But I'm "kept by the power of God". It isn't up to my good behavior, good attitude, good ideas, good apologies, to be forgiven accepted made new. It's up to Him.

So there's no condemnation! God has done an incredible work in us who call ourselves Christians, and through us, and for me to say that it is not enough is to tell Jesus that Him dying on the cross for my sins is not enough. He was condemned, He was the one that was crushed by the Father (and it pleased Him). Now I get an inheritance "through the resurrection." The inheritance that the Son Jesus Christ has, an ever perfect standing with God the Father. He looks at me like He looks at Jesus, "His Son, with whom He is well pleased." And this inheritance, because I am not condemned by God, is perfect, clean, strong, ever present, always becoming more clear. It will not go. Oh what a joy!!! What a gift, what an incredible amount of grace, undeserved merit in front of the Creator and Judge of the universe. In that, in that, I greatly rejoice.

Some bits of the devotions in "My Utmost for His Highest" for this weekend...

The work of salvation means that in your life things are dramatically changed. You no longer look at things in the same way. Your desires are new and the old things have lost their power to attract you. Has God changed the things that really matter to you? If  you are born again, the Spirit of God makes the change very evident in your life and thought.

If we are born of God, we will see His guiding hand and give Him credit. We can all see God in exceptional things, but requires the growth of spiritual discipline to see Him in every detail. Never believe that the random events in life are anything less than God's appointed order. Be ready to design His divine designs everywhere and anywhere.

Encouraged by one of my FOCUS students, I'll be writing a lot more frequently... till next time.

Make War with Sin

The quote from Piper, that if you're not fighting sin.. you're losing to it... makes oh so much more sense now. Not because it's an emotional time and I feel like my heart has gotten ripped into pieces, but because I sensed it. But my flesh pulled away. I would turn off sermons, hide my Bible under a pile of books, hide notes, verses. Because I wanted sin. I wanted it, I desired it. And even when I didn't, I wasn't repenting, or searching for ways to practically end this problem. I was silent about it. And now, I'm paying the price to it. It hurts like hell. But Jesus is breaking my fingers... to make me let go of something that in the end will kill me.

Jesus, save me from myself, my desires, my wants, my longings. Give me YOU and YOU ONLY.

Never Grow Up

You're little hands wrapped around my finger
And, it's so quiet in the world tonight
You're little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming 
So, I took you in
Turn on your favorite night light
To you, everything's funny
You got nothing to regret
I'd give all I had, honey
If you could stay like that 

Oh, darling don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up 
Just stay this little 
Oh, darling don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up 
It can stay this simple

I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart
And no one will desert you 
Just try to never grow up, and never grow up 

And no one's ever burned you 
Nothing's ever left you scarred
And even though you want to 
Just try to never grow up 

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad get's home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said 
And all you're little brothers favorite songs 
I just realized everything I had is someday gonna be gone 

So, here I am in my new apartment 
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder than I thought it would be 
So, I tucked myself in and turned my night light on 
Wish I'd never grown up
I wish I'd never grown up 

Oh, darling don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up 
Just stay this little 
Oh, darling don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up 
It can stay this simple


I know, I'm not a dad yet. But by God's grace I will be. And this song already describes how I will feel if I have a little girl... :) =/ It will be an incredible honor to hold that little cute mini me whom I will unconditionally love. And a huge responsibility. Realizing how the screwed up this world is, how stupid boys are, and how often parents neglect their children, I am deathly afraid for my children. But. God is good, and He will protect them and love them. Anyway, this is what Taylor Swift does to me. K bye now.


"Jesus, save my kids from themselves, from me, from the world. Spirit overflow in their lives. Lead them, regenerate them, sanctify them, and glorify them. But nonetheless, not my will, but your will be done."