The quote from Piper, that if you're not fighting sin.. you're losing to it... makes oh so much more sense now. Not because it's an emotional time and I feel like my heart has gotten ripped into pieces, but because I sensed it. But my flesh pulled away. I would turn off sermons, hide my Bible under a pile of books, hide notes, verses. Because I wanted sin. I wanted it, I desired it. And even when I didn't, I wasn't repenting, or searching for ways to practically end this problem. I was silent about it. And now, I'm paying the price to it. It hurts like hell. But Jesus is breaking my fingers... to make me let go of something that in the end will kill me.
Jesus, save me from myself, my desires, my wants, my longings. Give me YOU and YOU ONLY.
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